5 Things You Shouldn't Post on Your Facebook Timeline

These are not in any particular order, though they do not annoy me equally. 

1. Cute couple things. 
I use the term "cute" but I don't mean it. I mean, Facebook is great and all for reconnecting with people from your past that were only meant to be a footnote in your future, but it is also a place where relationships go to die. 
On your timeline, everyone is judging you for the fact that you are proclaiming your undying love for someone you have only been dating for less than a month. And month-versary is NOT a thing. A year I understand but a month? Congratulations, you lasted a whole month without killing each other. 
When the relationship ends, you are forced to look back on those posts and see them for what they really are, permalinks of regret. 


2. Job complaints
Everyone has the occasional beef with their boss about something. They are your boss and you are their indentured servant five days a week. However, let me clear, you have a job. If you hate it so much, quit, so someone else who is a little more grateful for being able to pay his or her own bills can do so. 
Bear in mind, if you take your problems with the company to the web, they will find it. They will be pissed and they will find a way to sack you. 

3. Passive aggressive posts about exes or anyone 

You do realize that everyone knows who you are taking about, right? It's not hard to figure out. You've done everything but mention your name and you think you made some good points but for the love of goodness, you are better off buying a composition book from Staples, spilling your heart out in it and chucking it in a bonfire. 


4. What you will doing this weekend in painstaking detail. 

So on top of trying to make the whole world jealous that you actually have plans this weekend, you are going to use Facebook check-in (I don't think anyone even remembers what four square is) to make sure I know EXACTLY where you are at that moment. 
But you know what that also means, you are not at your apartment, house or industrial space. If I really wanted to rob you, I suppose I could. I mean have you seen that movie, you would be really a little more careful.  


5. Pictures from your vacation. 

Not only do I not care that you were in the Caribbean, I care even less to see you in a swimsuit that you are sucking you tummy in to be photographed in. You look great, however after the first 50 photos, everyone else who did care at one point, just stopped. I don’t mean that the profile picture can’t be updated and all that jazz, but taking pictures of inanimate objects that mean nothing and posting hundreds of them is just ridiculous. It’s almost cruel to inflict that on internet. 

So there you have it, the five things that you shouldn’t post on the internet, here’s to hoping that you think before you post.