How We Should Treat Our Parents

I think that there is something that happens when we reach adolescence. It’s the feeling we get when we find something out about our parents that make them seem more human. You find out about an abortion, or that time when they were homeless or that they changed their major in college six times because they didn’t know what they wanted to do. 

You find out these things and you realize for the first time that your parents are really just people. They aren’t “super”, they don’t have magical powers or wands and all they want is the best for you, but sometimes they don’t what to do with you. It’s not a bad thing because children don’t come with manuals and they are all just doing the best that they can with what they have and whether they really wanted you or not, they wanted you in this world so they could love you. 

Now I have been guilty of disrespecting my parents, it’s not major things like getting pregnant out of wedlock or getting addicted to drugs, but it’s little things like getting upset when they try to tell me something or them asking me questions about what’s going on in my life and I shut them out. I think that I lost sight of the fact that when the chips are down and everyone else has abandoned you, the only people that have your back is your family. 

I want nothing more than to go back to the time when my mother and I were so close that she could read my mind. We were the kind of best friends that you would never see mad at each other. I wanted to be like her, I wanted to make her proud and when I felt like I failed at that, I didn’t want her to see how much of a failure I had become. I had a plan for my life and things started to change and I started to change and I never let her back into my bubble. 

So in addition to respecting your parents and letting them know what’s going on with you, you have to let them back into your bubble. You have to let them love you, even though you think that you have let them down and you don’t know what your next step is. Let them in on your journey; they are there for a reason. 

Innocuous 6am musings

It's 6 am and I'm still awake. After the day I have had, I cannot be told to sleep.
My stomach is rumbling and I am day-dreaming of the bacon waiting for me.
I'm sore from the fatigue of staying up all night.
I know my eyes will close soon and my thoughts will be filled with images of him.

I ask myself questions at this break of day.
What will fill my day?
What will be the reckoning?
Does it matter at all?
Maybe none it does and all things are non-existent.

I'm just tired so nothing makes sense. 

5 Things You Shouldn't Talk About on the First Date

These are things that you shouldn't talk about on a first date. However, somehow or another, if it's going really well, I tend not to care. This list is in no particular order; the order can be up to you.

1. Marriage

This is a biggie because you are meeting this person presumably for the first time. The point is to NOT scare them away. I can understand asking whether or not they believe in the sanctity of it or if they will do it in the future. I'm talking specifics.
DO NOT tell them that you want to be married at the Cinderella Castle.
DO NOT tell them when you expect to be married.
DO NOT tell them that you tried on wedding dresses the weekend prior.
Reasons for this should be obvious but allow me to explicate:
If you have an idea of where you like to tie the knot, that means that you have been thinking about it.
If you put a deadline on the marriage proposal, not only are you inexplicably putting pressure on them, but you are letting them know that you are desperate.
And telling any man that you were shopping for a dress that you have no reason to shop for just tells him that you are CRAZY.

2. Kids

I don't have kids so they don't come up in conversation because they don't exist. Mention them if you have them for the love of
Pete, but if you don't, there should be no mention of them on the first date.
DO NOT make comments about the child sitting in the high chair two tables over that is really well behaved, like "I can't wait to have one" or "I wonder what ours would look like".
DO NOT talk about the names of your imaginary children.
DO NOT tell them about how you would raise them.
Now based on where you are in life, mid-30's would make this topic acceptable because you are both at that point, but I am 21, and I normally date three years my senior or higher. SO...no.
If you make comments about how good your children with that person would look, you are implying that you will have sex with them and that you will want children rather quickly. The comments about the names means that you have put a considerable thought into the futures of these children. While this is good to do, it is not good to share that with someone you are meeting for the first time.

3. Deep Seated Political Beliefs

If you lean one or another, it doesn't matter, but if you have some weird thought process where you actually ask yourself "What about all the good things Hitler did?", DO NOT share that with anyone.
I will not explain why that is a bad idea. I will however say that if you don't think you would be able to get along with someone from the other side of the aisle, by all means share that information but nothing more.
NO pro-choice v pro-life debates
NO government spending discussions
NO talking about who you voted for last presidential election
It should be a given but it's not.

4. Details of and/or Problems with Work

Whether we love or hate what we do for money, it should be a footnote in the conversation of your date. This information should not be the most interesting thing about you. Most of us, myself included, have jobs where they can always be improving on, but whatever qualms or frustrations you have about your employment, they should NOT be vented to someone you've just met for any reason. They don't know the details of what you do, so it doesn't make any sense to tell them. One thing to realize is that it will be backfire because you have vented, they will want to reciprocate. Nothing is quite as bad as having to listen to someone whine about their day at work and how hard their job is. You have employment, you make money; if it's so bad, quit.


5. The Weather

If you are resorting to talking about how it's been raining for the past couple of days at the same time everyday, you have nothing to discuss and you should just leave the date.

Am I Falling?

Love feels a lot like falling.
There are countless books, poems, live shows explaining to the world what they presume to know about love, but I think because so many people have tried to explain it that maybe there is no explanation for it.
I've recently met someone and I wouldn't say it is love or much of anything yet, except for like-like. However, in him, I see the qualities that I had outlined in a letter I had addressed to myself nine years ago. I'm an old fashioned traditional girl; it's just how my parents raised me and he appeals to my sensibilities. Intelligent, Funny, Witty, Clever, God-fearing/loving, willing to learn new things and go on new adventures.
I find myself very wary of him. The reason being is that I don't think I ever thought that I would get everything on my list. As I get to know him, I don't try to think too hard about the list and what he fits or does not fit. He finishes my sandwiches and understands the importance of goofing off.
Everything feels right, never forced. I don't have to think of things to say or conversation starters; we just pick up where we left off like old friends with a ton of stories to tell and not enough time in the day.

When you meet someone, is it quick? Does your heart want to leap from your chest?